Thursday 9 August 2007

vacating the mind of vacation thoughts

Yeh hawa, kehti hai kya, samjho, meri jaana, meri jaana...

This is the song I must have played more than 15-20 times in the past few days…just love to hear it, hum it, listen to it, utter it and that’s it…I said…that’s it!

THAT’S IT echoed somewhere in the back of my mind. But there it was, on my lips…I was singing it again! :)

[smiling]…dil kya kare jab kisiko..

Pata nahi kyun…but the state of my mind might just be the right reason for me to sing yeh hawa…an unsteady, wondering state of mind.

These holidays have been no different from the past ones…(the semester vacations received in bits, of which you can hardy relish a byte) and yet very different. It included every basic characteristic from each of its ancestors > some work that needed to be done like… cleaning the wardrobe, the book shelf etc. > taking a look at the messy room and attending to it > the unplanned trips…forming fond memories > irregular visits and meetings…that keep you involved for most part of the day and give you a feeling of WOW! I’VE DONE SOMETHING > the rain…yes, the lovely continuously pouring rain, which creates a pleasant atmosphere with the sound of every drop, cutting off all your meetings while it comes to meet the earth!! > and other times…really long ones…which leave you wondering as to what to do next…leave you with one big question mark…bigger than yourself, bigger than your world > and then a few efforts to write something that went in vain…which now I guess is undone :) And then there was some placement activity too.

A glass of water in this vessel and another in that. One, for the noodles she wanted, and the other for my tea. Ah! Chores apart..

So, here I was supposed to be enjoying my holidays and they continued…without ever stopping the search…the search for something that was missing, something that was making me anxious all the time.

Mama, I cry, she isn’t here. And by the time she comes, I’ll be fine.

To phir aaaoo...is the song running on tv and I decide to stop here…got-to go have the refreshing cup of tea :)

4 comments:

The New Age Superhero said...

i seriously wonder what went wrong with me.. the very last time i ever enjoyed and really lived my vacations were after my first yr. of senior college and that would be some nice 5 years back.. ever since i've been too tensed or busy to ever have lived my vacations. now that i read your post, i seriously feel like getting up and start acting rather than sitting in this gloomy room and bitching bout life.. god :P.. thank u woman.. u just shook me awake :)

Snehal said...

wow!
1. I don't know what to say.

2. makes me feel good, actually wonder at the power words have!
...had never thought this post would catch anyone's attention.
...coz my gloominess itself had dragged me into writing this.

3. always feel like shaking awake someone (in real action) but this is happening virtually...so be it!
:)

The New Age Superhero said...

ah well.. some things jst happen.. aur kya kahein :S.. :P.. :) (too many emoticons??) :P

Anonymous said...

6th semester vacation is an illusion. They tell you it's there, but no it isn't.
Campus placements are more horrible than classes..